Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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