The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
