Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
