Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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