did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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