What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Randomize
