omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
