I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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