shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
