Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
