i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
