I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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