I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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