can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
