Yo dont text me then not text me
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
