I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
you never un-have a 4some
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
