I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
