Porn is love you can see.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
