Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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