I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
