Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
