i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
