Who did Billy Mays play for?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
