I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We left the knife in your bed.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
