Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
