Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
