He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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