no. you can't hotbox the world.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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