please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
