so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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