I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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