Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
