So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize