You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize