I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
