yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize