bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
