but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
