I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Mom said you looked used
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
