That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
