i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
