College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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