R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
