It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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