Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
