It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
