im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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