Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
