I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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