I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
