Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
