I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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