I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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