i think my mom watched the whole time
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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