I got chris browned last night
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
